I thought I’d try something a little different for a change. I wanted to stand on my own two feet and find my own path. No GPS, no compass, and only the occasional road sign. This was a journey I’d be taking one day at time, step after step on a path of uncertainty. I was okay with that. It’s what I wanted. It’s what works for me now. But now, where am I now?
It was me who burned the bridge. It was a conscious decision that took no heed from others. And as I sit here nurturing my sorrow with hot chocolate and Frank Sinatra (My Way – how fitting) I can’t help but thinking about it. Not on a small me scale, but in a ‘greater place in the world’ scale.
You see, there is one major flaw in my plan. I’m a horrible decision maker. I’m spontaneous which means committing myself to any inkling of a plan is a big blown entirely out of proportion event. I used to have someone to talk through the trivial things with. Then eventually, I would come to a decision which was inevitably tainted with expectations of others versus self indulgence. I’d do what I felt I should do and I would stand firm in my own uncertainty. Lately, I stand in 3 inch stiletto boots in the middle of uncertainty. Careful folks, it’s a blustery day.
So tomorrow is the deadline I’ve set for myself to make the decision. Friday, 2 pm. It’s not even an important decision to the rest of the world. Like I said, trivial. But who am I to undermine the world of limitless possibilities.
For what is a man, what has he got?If not himself, then he has naught.To say the things, he truly feels,And not the words, of one who kneels.The record shows, I took the blows ---And did it my way
Frank Sinatra – My Way
It was me who burned the bridge. It was a conscious decision that took no heed from others. And as I sit here nurturing my sorrow with hot chocolate and Frank Sinatra (My Way – how fitting) I can’t help but thinking about it. Not on a small me scale, but in a ‘greater place in the world’ scale.
You see, there is one major flaw in my plan. I’m a horrible decision maker. I’m spontaneous which means committing myself to any inkling of a plan is a big blown entirely out of proportion event. I used to have someone to talk through the trivial things with. Then eventually, I would come to a decision which was inevitably tainted with expectations of others versus self indulgence. I’d do what I felt I should do and I would stand firm in my own uncertainty. Lately, I stand in 3 inch stiletto boots in the middle of uncertainty. Careful folks, it’s a blustery day.
So tomorrow is the deadline I’ve set for myself to make the decision. Friday, 2 pm. It’s not even an important decision to the rest of the world. Like I said, trivial. But who am I to undermine the world of limitless possibilities.
For what is a man, what has he got?If not himself, then he has naught.To say the things, he truly feels,And not the words, of one who kneels.The record shows, I took the blows ---And did it my way
Frank Sinatra – My Way
1 Comments:
Whether or not to enter the craft showcase at the hospital.
Final decision: yes. i'll save you all the rollercoaster of the actual decsion making process
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