Almost there...

Greetings all....
so here i am at home in Ontario... bored out of my little tree. Everytime i come home, i realize that Oakville ins't really a part of me anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are things that i still like... i got to drive last night. YEah driving. I went to visit my old work and see all my old friends there, so that was good too. So now i'm off to Kingston, it's going to be a lot of waiting around Train Stations for me today. I'm taking the GO train in to Toronto, and then the VIA Train to see Meghan. Anyhoo, i should be off to go get a train ticket, or else i'm going no where!

DAVE MATTHEWS in 32 hours!

No takers eh?

Well, nobody applied to be me. I guess you're all stuck with me. I think this is kind of the like the 'if you don't vote you can't complain' system. You all had the opportunity to tell me how to be a different and more effective as well as less offensive Tracy, but no one jumped at the offer. As you were then. I'll just continue being me.
Over and out

Happy Father's Day

Hey all
so today was father's day... I called my dad this evening to wish him a Happy Father's Day. At first, he was happy to hear from me. He tells me thank you for the Card (Nadia picked it up) and then proceeds to ask me if I have talked to Christie (the sister in Japan). Now, it's not unusual for him to ask me if I'm in touch with her. I haven't really talked to her all week. So I tell this to Dad, and he tells me I should make more of an effort to keep in touch with her. Christie didn't call Dad for Father's Day, or sign her name on the card... because Poor Christie, all the way in Japan wouldn't have known it was Fathers Day. Apparently, (and if anyone has such bold expectations of me, I'm requesting advance notice,) I should have emailed Christie this week to tell her it was Father's Day. Pardon me. How could I have forgotten. Poor Christie. Poor Christie, Poor Christie... that's all Dad could think. Bad sister Tracy... bad sister Tracy... bad sister Tracy...that's all he bothered to imply.
So that's fine... he goes on about that for a bit... as he does with everything else.

So I guess that set the tone for the conversation, because the most of the rest of it was all disapproval from anything that may have even made me the least bit happy this week.

And while I'm in the rut of rant, let me just ask if I give off the impression that I can't take care of myself or heaven forbid, make my own decision. Okay, I know decisiveness is not a strong suit of mine, but occasionally I do make my own decisions, while other times I seek approval before commitment. Point in matter is that if I make mistakes, I need to learn from them.

I think I'd be better off if I let someone else run my life. I seem to be letting people down right, left and centre. So if you think you could do a better job of being me, please post a brief statement of why you think you are the best candidate. Please quote position #001-Tracy in your response. Winners will be posted at the end of the week. Thank you and good luck.

Cooking Goddess

I just wanted to let you know that I, the infamous Tracy Lowe, am tossing aside any little speck of humility I may have had for the duration of this post.

Loyal Readers, fellow conspirators, and the fortunate souls to who have randomly stumbled upon the world according to me,

I am a cooking Goddess. Yep, that's right, tonight, I made the most delicious mushroom cream sauce for pasta! No recipe, just my creative genius....
Lots of Fresh mushrooms, garlic, fresh basil, and fresh oregano... oh, so spectacular!

And, I also made a red pepper hummus. Oh, so tasty.

I was gonna make some other stuff... but I decided to play my harmonica.

Anyhoo, I must go get a baguette, so I can have my dinner!
Later gators

So much to say

dave matthews song currently in my head. So much to say, so much to say, so much to say.... you get the idea, and yes, there are more words, i just can't remember them. Spaking of remembering, i totally forgot to tell you all the funny story of yesterday. So i'm walking downtown carrying a violin. Now, i must say that when one has purplish/pink hair and a violin... you tend to get a lot of mixed glances. Some were favourable, some confused, and some just too hard to read. So i go in to this one store, and the girl in the store who works there asks me if actually play my violin or if i just walk around carrying it for fun. Anyhoo, we chat, and it comes up that she plays, so right there in the middle of the store, she plays me a tune! true story... i love this province :)

And today... I had my very frist ride on a motorcycle. IT WAS GREAT... i'm gonna get one one day... i hope :)
Anyhoo, as per usual, i could babble your ear off with stories, but i think i'll just go do something to entertain myself. Over and out

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunny Days. Thank God for that. So i'm walking down the street today, listening to great music, enjoying the was the sun was beating down on me, and on my way downtown to run errands. And for some reason, i started thinking about stuff... nothing in particular, more or less just how today was a great day because i was able to zone out all the stress in my life... lose myself in the world of my imagination... (concert violinst/expert fiddler/recording superstar... here i come) It's nice to just zone out.
So anyway, the point of my blog? there isn't one. And if there was, what makes you think i would tell you.
This is my day in a nutshell... got the violin fixed (i apologize in advance for the racket im going to make while learning), ordered a really cool pair of really cool capris from a really cool local seamstress... really cool, came home, cooking, work, hung out with awake roomies, roomies went to bed... tracy hangs out in her room chatting to Bob on MSN.
That's life in a nutshell today.
Over and Out

lost and found

Today i was cleaning my room... looking through old stuff. I stumbled upon this quote that i used to really like in highschool. take it for what it is worth to you.

"Maybe there aren't any such things as good friends or bad friends--maybe there are just friends, people who stand by you when you're hurt and who help you feel not so lonely. maybe they're always worth being scared for, and hoping for, and living for. maybe worth dying for, too, if that that's what has to be. No good friends, No bad friends. Only people you want, need to be with; people who bulid their houses in your heart".
-Stephen King (I can't remember which book though)

Ambivalence

Feeling particularily ambivalent on a day thatshould bring happiness. Here i sit confined in four walls with one slightly ajar door of what used to be my safe haven of sleepless... now it's just sleepless. Writing run on sentences of fragmented thoughts, stories, feelings and fragments while they run on inside my head. not making sense. don't want to make sense. Why does every thing have to make sense, and how do we know we're there?
So here i am, pondering, looking out my bedroom window. I'm watching green leaves dance in the sunlight as it dances from behind the clouds. i think of a million things i could or should be doing, some outside, some inside. But i think for now, i'll just sit. and wait. and think.

Wont you let me get some sleep tonight

It's almost 2:00 am. I've been up and on the go since 9:00 this morning. I'm exhausted,my head was sleepy. Emphasis on was. so i put on my favourite instrumental tape to fall alseep to (its the one bob made for me of him playing piano)and crawled into bed. For some reason, it sounded like someone was in the same room as me and snoring. Creepy. it was the tape player. So i switched to my favourite Dave Matthews to fall asleep to... still no luck. So here i am, wide awake... stressed beyond belief.
Thoughts running through my head right now:
Good morning, don't cop out. You fall from the cancer to land on your feet. and you're crazy to want this, even for a while. ... Strange Days, matthew Good band
hey, one of my roomies just came home. I got up to see who it was... i hope she doesn't think that it is creepy or that i'm checking up on her... i wasn't. I was just curious.
sigh... so much stress.... such bad coping mechanisms...
if you want me, i'll be out in my sandbox

long time gone

Hey
How's it going? So i've been MIA for a while... i know, i have no excuse for neglecting you. I've been working on something in my head... i haven't had time to put it on paper yet. Stay tuned.